Snow Train, Japan
photo via marilyn
We used a jar of my friend Catherine’s homemade apple butter in these muffins, which we baked for Tilly’s preschool class because it was our turn to bring the afternoon snack. The muffins were delicious, and I had enough mental space that day we made them to let the girls help. Mathilde…
Thank you mrsgeiger….for writing, for sharing bits of who you are with us, for inspiring deep thought and gratitude for the everyday and the profound.
TJTalks turned 4 today!
Dressing up for Japan’s Coming of Age Day (成人の日)
On the second Monday of January, Japan’s Coming of Age Day (成人の日) takes place. The holiday congratulates and emboldens young men and women who turned the legal adult age of 20 during the previous year. On this day, the 20-year-old men and women will often have their portraits taken by professional photographers, attend ceremonies hosted by city or prefectural halls and gather for middle school and high school reunions.
The day is full of celebration events, many of which are attended in formal dress. This consists of fashionable suits or traditional Japanese menswear called hakama (袴) for men and gorgeously designed kimonos with long sleeves called furisode (振り袖) for women. The event is of particular importance for women and often requires going to beauty salons early in the morning to have hair and makeup styled as well as picking out the perfect furisode well in advance. Lately, girls will also have their manicures match the designs of their kimonos.
Helpful information about this last Monday…sort of wish I had gone out and taken photos…but it is winter and a little on the cold side :)
Tree Tunnel, San Francisco, California
photo via maidenly
I get to see my daughter and son in law in this pretty city soon :)
I’m re-reading Schnarch’s book Passionate Marriage and so once again I’m thinking about my chronic anxiety. The sad thing is I thought I was doing pretty good, maybe improving the way I handle life and not very anxious lately, with the exception of a few moments around the holidays with family members and travel decisions of course.
But this morning I was thinking about my life and how relationships transition from first impression to getting to know someone and then the sticky stage of dealing with conflict or hurts. In my life of 53 years I have some special long term relationships but I have also lost many friends that I thought would be life-long. I become anxious when I since people slipping away from relationship with me.
I think I live and manage my life between two great fears. One being the fear that I will be unnoticed, unseen, and therefore unwanted (invisible). I’ve been fairly successful with strategies to keep that from happening and therefor developed some very annoying styles of relating that grab attention and attempt to keep it on me at all times.
The other fear is being seen, known and truly understood but still unwanted. In fact worse than just unwanted but turned away from in disgust, shamed (judged unworthy of knowing and enjoying).
I realize more and more that a few intimate friends, who really want to know me and find the grace in their own hearts big enough to keep loving me even when the worst is seen, is rare and precious. I must let go of the idea that everyone will love me. I’m tired of working hard to convince others that I’m worth knowing.
And my attempts to give others a taste of the Grace that has been granted me by God through His Son and the few people here that love well, is always tainted with the hope that they will then, in return want to know me and love me forever.
So once again I must face how I fail to love the way God does and grieve the losses. If I am to have inner peace it will not come from feeling good about how well I am living and loving or getting others to love me, it must come from knowing that I have a Bridegroom waiting in great anticipation, who sees me fully and wants me anyway. Loves me just as I am but too much to leave me this way. One day I will be transformed.
Flannery O’Connor, The Habit of Being (via recycledsoul)
"…I don’t know so well what I think until I see what I say;…" This explains my need for what I call verbal processing. Very often I must repent of what I think (believe) after I have heard what I say…because now there is no doubt that what is inside me is hurtful or ugly. Too many times I (we) scramble to say what we ‘really meant’…but it’s too late…from the heart the mouth speaks, I was exposed, the truth is out.
Great memories of our Christmas in Kyoto (who knew there was a song with that theme :)